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samuel-vimes:

bakingcheesebuns:

never

ever

ever

ever

  1. ever

ever

e.v.e.r

  • EVER

ask a girl out as a dare

or a boy
or anybody
because that’s shitty as fuck

adampacmanjones:

Talking and flirting with hot people is so hard cuz u gotta pretend theyre a 5 but really theyre a 13 and u gotta be chill and act like theyre aesthetics dont make you lose your shit on a second to second basis

jesus-would-follow-me:

the size of your thighs, or your waist, doesn’t matter

its the size of your bank account that we really care about

coconut-coffee:

my wallet needs to be as thick as my thighs

spangefucker:

meatbicyclevevo:

somebody once told me the world was gonna

end on december 21, 2012. i bought all of this fucking pasta as a way to celebrate the end of the world and now i’m $10,000 in debt and i have pasta everywhere in my house

zanetheaiden:

u readin this?

u a princess.

i dont care if youre a goddamn bodybuilder, ur now princess protein

stardusttx:

grapewallofchina:

your life hasn’t been completed until you see giraffes fighting 

image

you’re welcome

i thought they were partying


parents:  you need to go out more
parents:  you need to exercise more
parents:  YOU'RE GOING OUT FOR A WALK??? YOU?????
parents:  HAHAHA WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU???
parents:  why are you getting angry